I got robbed, and all they stole was my poxy Crackberry

Okay, I really should be working instead of writing this,but I just got interruptedd by my good friend Shaniqua, (not her real name obvi) Anyway, so at the weekend me and Shaniqua hit up central LDN and met two lovely gentleman, ha-haa, okay not lovely gentleman, but we met a couple of guys, Peckham boys, now I am not here to stereotype, but we should have connected the dots a lot earlier than four days later.

So, we're out in Leicester Square getting our rave on, I'm hitting up the double vodkas straight and Shaniqua is gone, away, with the music and the booze, she is off on her raving head.

Oh, hang on I have missed out the most vital point, earlier on in the day, Shaniqua got her first contract, she purchased a brand spanking new Crackberry, so happy to be part of the hype that is Crackberry, this was her new baby. Adding up everyone, announcing her pin to the world of bookface!!!!

So, back to that night, she is guarding this mutha fucking phone with her life, taking it out of its case, taking pics, putting it back in its case like it needs protecting. The phone never left her side!

That is until, we meet these gorgeous guys, and head to another venue they said was banging, which it was, we are all raving it up (not the guys, can you really see two Peckham lads dancing? No, didn’t think so) so me and Shaniqua, dancing it out, head off to the bar, and all of sudden,

I'VE LOSST MY PHONE, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PHONE, OMG, SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!

So, me and the lads are like oh dear, lets go check everywhere for the phone, head out to security, they have a Crackberry, YES YES OMG YES, ummmm no, it's not hers. (don’t forget this whole time we haven’t connected the dots)

So we all head off back to the other clubs we hit up, all of which are closed, but they can see this poor girl having a full on break down, so they let her in to check, nope not here, not there, it's gone!

We give in, and head home, the two Peckham boys in tow, and as students do, sneak them into our halls of residence (I get caught, outside my door, with this Peckham lad, trying to blag him in, but this story is not about me so we wont get into that right now) So, morning comes, we have chucked the lads out and head off for the usual big fat fry up to recuperate (this also consisted of fish and chips, a scone, a raspberry turnover, an apple turnover, and a freebie the delicatessen chucked in) and head back to kill ourselves and the hang over.

Five hours later, we have still not connected the dots, and then, bang, Shaniquas facebook status pops up.

''GOSH MY FANNY IS REALLY SORE TODAY!!!!''

Oh my god, oh my god, I actually cant stop laughing, her Peckham boy ROBBED her phone, FUCKED her, and then, FRAPED her, on her own CRACKBERRY!!!

Too much laughter is going on right now!!!!!