Your girl is lovely, Hubbell

Hello Birdies,

I am going to refer back to The Rogue today, and hopefully put him into the past tense, and leave him there for good. I have just realised that it has now been three years worth of obsession, heartache and complete psychotic behaviour with this man. And I have also come to realise that although he IS Mr Big, unattainable and completely no good for me, I am in fact NOT Carrie, I am Natasha, yes that is right, I was never Mr Big's Carrie, apparently I am the one I the way of him and his true Carrie.

All this time I have had nothing but hatred for 'the other chic' (before I am corrected for spelling Chick, minus the K, there is reason behind this) However, I am in actual fact 'the other chic'. It has only taken me three years to work this out, three years of not only stalking him, but stalking her too, (to the point of adding her profile to my favourite's, just so I could keep tabs on her, and him). But, it is only down to this that I have come to realise this fact, and realise that their bond (and their child) cannot be broken. Even if my delusional thoughts allow me to think that he might have once loved me were true, he is never going to stop going back to her.

This fact pains me, more than seeing women with labels still on their shoes (big faux pas), but, as we all know, Natasha may marry Mr Big, but he is never truly hers. So I bid farewell to The Rogue, I would love to wish them both all the best, but I still want them both to die.

I was even contemplating sending her an email exposing him, and telling her all of our history, but what good is that going to do me? Besides, anybody who is a true SATC fan, knows that Carrie is the mug, she should never have got Carried away with Mr Big, and all of their mishaps were nothing but her own choices and decisions, even so much as through to the movies, do we want to slap her and say 'go and get Aidann back you fool'. So, I may be letting go of Mr Big, so that Carrie can have him, but I am also creating a new Carrie, the Carrie that we all wanted to see in the series, and detaching myself from all the pain and the foolishness and becoming the one that does end up happily ever after, WITHOUT Mr Big

'We're so over, we need a new word for over'

I need to detox my brain, and stop these crazy thoughts that one day it might happen, I know it wont, but I cant stop thinking 'what if'. Besides, I would never live up to her, Who the fuck can live up to Carrie Bradshaw? NOBODY! So I will just have to keep my jealous thoughts out of my mind, and pray to god that one day he is just a distant memory, and a bad mistake that I once made in my twenties.

So,' your girl is lovely, Hubbell' ( to all of you that know what this means, I know he wont)


End of an era, and on to the next one........