So, after waking up this morning and posting my mortifying experience of the night before, it got me thinking about other 'situations', and I was talking to my girlfriends about similar things, well not so similar as to wetting the bed, but you know, of the sort.
I remembered an occasion with 'The Rogue', after an amazing evening of wine and sex, we hit the sack, in a full state of sleep I am woken to the sound of man poo, yes, a full on 'toilet situation' loud and disgusting. Now this wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn't decided to do this in the en suite bathroom, as opposed to the other two toilets available in his flat, but he decided to go drop the kids off in the en suite. Ladies, this is not the worse part, I had been in the toilet earlier only to discover that there was no loo roll, and after shouting this mid flow, he brings me a little pack of handbag sized tissues, with three remaining, one of which I used then, and another before we went to bed, which, if you are any good at maths, you can work out that there was one remaining tissue.
Which can only bring me to ask, WHAT THE FUCK DID HE WIPE HIS ASS WITH? the sounds that were coming from that toilet could not be cleaned up with one 12X12 tissue, probably not even a whole roll if he did have one.
I remembered an occasion with 'The Rogue', after an amazing evening of wine and sex, we hit the sack, in a full state of sleep I am woken to the sound of man poo, yes, a full on 'toilet situation' loud and disgusting. Now this wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn't decided to do this in the en suite bathroom, as opposed to the other two toilets available in his flat, but he decided to go drop the kids off in the en suite. Ladies, this is not the worse part, I had been in the toilet earlier only to discover that there was no loo roll, and after shouting this mid flow, he brings me a little pack of handbag sized tissues, with three remaining, one of which I used then, and another before we went to bed, which, if you are any good at maths, you can work out that there was one remaining tissue.
Which can only bring me to ask, WHAT THE FUCK DID HE WIPE HIS ASS WITH? the sounds that were coming from that toilet could not be cleaned up with one 12X12 tissue, probably not even a whole roll if he did have one.
I did what I do best at this stage and pretend to be asleep, whilst vomiting in my own mouth and cringing myself back to sleep, needless to say he did not get a goodbye kiss in the morning, as I bolted out of there like no tomorrow.
I guess my point here is, I really don’t understand when this sort of behaviour became acceptable? I mean its not acceptable to us obviously, but man to man this is clearly the correct etiquette for them.
p.s I had a response from pissy pants 'I was dreaming I was on the toilet but clearly I wasn’t.. it freaked me out,II thought you was gonna go mad and tell me to fuck off, it's been playing on my mind all morning. sorry' er erm, I don't know where this guy gets off, the only reason I didn’t tell him to fuck off was due to the fact I was humiliated for him. Does he seriously expect me to respond? Does he genuinely think he is going to see me again?
I CAN STILL SMELL THE PISS!!!!
xx
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